Speed Dating
Given the circumstances of my last relationship I am not ready to be dating again. Not yet anyway. I'm sure I will be eventually and it won't seem as depressing as it does right now. However, there is a speed-dating night at a local bar next month and I'm thinking... maybe I should go, you know? Why not? It's not like I have any real expectations of coming out with a winner and it might be a fun experience and it will certainly take my mind off everything that I've been thinking about lately. It will probably even be refreshing but I can't help but dread the starting over part... you know? I can just imagine... All of the:
"Hi, I'm M. My favorite colors are pink, red, blue and green. I love tennis and I went to a small liberal arts college in the middle of no where that I *loved*. I have three sisters who are my best friends. You HAVE to like them. If you don't, this won't go anywhere. And I have 21 cousins on one side and we're all really close and we spend every 4th of July, summer vacation and Christmas together. And on that summer vacation, we have what we call the "Porch Test" that you'll have to pass. See, every day after the beach we have happy hour. On the porch. All 50-75 of us. And if you're new to the group, you have to go through the Porch Test which entails you mingling during happy hour. With EVERYONE. If you're friendly, and charming, offer to grab whomever a beer whenever you go to the cooler, and refill whichever sangria/wine glass is empty you'll be doing well. You'll do even better if you bring a case of beer, bottle of wine and/or an appetizer to share, have a couple of funny stories to tell about me and tell people how lucky we are to be on vacation in this beautiful place and how incredible the tradition that has started is. If you want bonus points you'll whisper to my mom during a lull in conversation that she and my dad did a really great job raising me and my sisters ((don't laugh, this has happened before)), and you'll tell the key people (my cousins S and A, my aunt J, and M) how lucky you are to have me.
The next day on the beach everyone will take turns coming over to me while I'm sitting in my beach chair, walk down to the water with me, or take a trip up for an ice cream and tell me what they thought. If everyone liked you and you were all of those things, you'll pass with flying colors. If not... well... our future together is grim.
Oh, and my best friend from home. P. Yes, he's a guy. No, we've never dated. No, we've never liked each other. You HAVE to like him too. He is my best friend and I refuse to date someone who doesn't understand how much he means to me. Do not be jealous of him. I hate jealousy and I will never make you jealous. Truly.
Um, I think that's it! It was great meeting you! Really! Thanks!"
Okay... so maybe I'm not ready for this... ;) (I'm really not crazy you guys, I swear.)
"Hi, I'm M. My favorite colors are pink, red, blue and green. I love tennis and I went to a small liberal arts college in the middle of no where that I *loved*. I have three sisters who are my best friends. You HAVE to like them. If you don't, this won't go anywhere. And I have 21 cousins on one side and we're all really close and we spend every 4th of July, summer vacation and Christmas together. And on that summer vacation, we have what we call the "Porch Test" that you'll have to pass. See, every day after the beach we have happy hour. On the porch. All 50-75 of us. And if you're new to the group, you have to go through the Porch Test which entails you mingling during happy hour. With EVERYONE. If you're friendly, and charming, offer to grab whomever a beer whenever you go to the cooler, and refill whichever sangria/wine glass is empty you'll be doing well. You'll do even better if you bring a case of beer, bottle of wine and/or an appetizer to share, have a couple of funny stories to tell about me and tell people how lucky we are to be on vacation in this beautiful place and how incredible the tradition that has started is. If you want bonus points you'll whisper to my mom during a lull in conversation that she and my dad did a really great job raising me and my sisters ((don't laugh, this has happened before)), and you'll tell the key people (my cousins S and A, my aunt J, and M) how lucky you are to have me.
The next day on the beach everyone will take turns coming over to me while I'm sitting in my beach chair, walk down to the water with me, or take a trip up for an ice cream and tell me what they thought. If everyone liked you and you were all of those things, you'll pass with flying colors. If not... well... our future together is grim.
Oh, and my best friend from home. P. Yes, he's a guy. No, we've never dated. No, we've never liked each other. You HAVE to like him too. He is my best friend and I refuse to date someone who doesn't understand how much he means to me. Do not be jealous of him. I hate jealousy and I will never make you jealous. Truly.
Um, I think that's it! It was great meeting you! Really! Thanks!"
Okay... so maybe I'm not ready for this... ;) (I'm really not crazy you guys, I swear.)
posted by P in VT at 8:36 AM
1 Comments:
Yeah, um, you're not ready to get back into the dating pool. But I think you should still go out to a bar or two. Three minute dates are silly but sipping cocktails over the course of three hours isn't.
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