Working and Relationships- - does it Work?
Sorry about the lack of posting everybody, I’ve been getting acclimated with my new area and responsibilities!
This has turned into a longer-than-usual post and so if you’re not in the mood something slightly concentrated- - move along, move along.
I am really excited about this new job and I hope that it provides me with the business and excitement I’ve been waiting for. As I am feeling pretty great about the whole promotion thing, my boyfriend is not. (Usually I wouldn’t tend to discuss such personal issues here, but I’ve been a little…disheartened lately with the superficiality of posts. Mine that is- - this is not meant as a critique of others blogs that I indulge in.) Anyway, as you are all well aware, my boyfriend lives in Michigan and I live in Vermont- - a mere 13 hours apart. Both of us graduated in May, he from a Graduate program and myself from undergrad- - and got job offers at roughly the same time. He is a tennis coach at a college in Michigan and, if any of you are familiar with college coaching, it’s a tough career to break into. You usually have to move up from an assistant position or get “experience” at a less-than-stellar school with a less-than-stellar team before landing a job you really love. So, my boyfriend did the whole Graduate Assistant (G.A.) thing at a great school in the Northeast with great tennis teams. Now he is a Head Coach at a small school in southern (i.e. middle-of-nowhere) Michigan that doesn’t have the academic or athletic rigor that he is accustomed to. This school, like many schools have done, is starting to build state-of-the-art athletic facilities in hopes of attracting more students. The problem is that this is in the very beginning phases and the tennis facilities now are three indoor courts with a terrible surface and *no* outdoor courts. Another issue is that students of this school come from a very different socio-economic background than the students he was working with previously and many of them have work-study’s or jobs that oftentimes interfere with practice. Building a tennis program at this school will be challenging at best, but he really is trying hard and recruiting like crazy. Despite a wonderful, optimistic attitude this job is not what he ideally wants and he is slightly miserable and frustrated. Here is where the problem lies, even though he is feeling frustrated he wants me to move to Michigan and find a job there because he thinks that it would make everything a lot better. I don’t completely disagree, being together would be wonderful and would be something that we haven’t ever done but I don’t think that it is a panacea for his work-related or our personal difficulties. To me, it seems crazy that he would want me to move to a place that he doesn’t even like. And, just to be fair, I have looked for jobs there, applied to over 50 and had 10+ interviews, it’s just that nothing is really working out. And now, to bring this long-winded post back full-circle, while he is elated that I got a promotion, a raise and am doing something that I really love, he thinks that by getting this new job and being happier I am settling more here, in Vermont, and won’t be willing to move- - ever.
I could go on but I think I’ll save that for a post later in the day…
This has turned into a longer-than-usual post and so if you’re not in the mood something slightly concentrated- - move along, move along.
I am really excited about this new job and I hope that it provides me with the business and excitement I’ve been waiting for. As I am feeling pretty great about the whole promotion thing, my boyfriend is not. (Usually I wouldn’t tend to discuss such personal issues here, but I’ve been a little…disheartened lately with the superficiality of posts. Mine that is- - this is not meant as a critique of others blogs that I indulge in.) Anyway, as you are all well aware, my boyfriend lives in Michigan and I live in Vermont- - a mere 13 hours apart. Both of us graduated in May, he from a Graduate program and myself from undergrad- - and got job offers at roughly the same time. He is a tennis coach at a college in Michigan and, if any of you are familiar with college coaching, it’s a tough career to break into. You usually have to move up from an assistant position or get “experience” at a less-than-stellar school with a less-than-stellar team before landing a job you really love. So, my boyfriend did the whole Graduate Assistant (G.A.) thing at a great school in the Northeast with great tennis teams. Now he is a Head Coach at a small school in southern (i.e. middle-of-nowhere) Michigan that doesn’t have the academic or athletic rigor that he is accustomed to. This school, like many schools have done, is starting to build state-of-the-art athletic facilities in hopes of attracting more students. The problem is that this is in the very beginning phases and the tennis facilities now are three indoor courts with a terrible surface and *no* outdoor courts. Another issue is that students of this school come from a very different socio-economic background than the students he was working with previously and many of them have work-study’s or jobs that oftentimes interfere with practice. Building a tennis program at this school will be challenging at best, but he really is trying hard and recruiting like crazy. Despite a wonderful, optimistic attitude this job is not what he ideally wants and he is slightly miserable and frustrated. Here is where the problem lies, even though he is feeling frustrated he wants me to move to Michigan and find a job there because he thinks that it would make everything a lot better. I don’t completely disagree, being together would be wonderful and would be something that we haven’t ever done but I don’t think that it is a panacea for his work-related or our personal difficulties. To me, it seems crazy that he would want me to move to a place that he doesn’t even like. And, just to be fair, I have looked for jobs there, applied to over 50 and had 10+ interviews, it’s just that nothing is really working out. And now, to bring this long-winded post back full-circle, while he is elated that I got a promotion, a raise and am doing something that I really love, he thinks that by getting this new job and being happier I am settling more here, in Vermont, and won’t be willing to move- - ever.
I could go on but I think I’ll save that for a post later in the day…
posted by P in VT at 10:55 AM
3 Comments:
Yeah, it's times like this I think being single is so much easier. Then I go home to my empty condo, stare at the burnt out lighbulb in my dining room that I can't reach, wish I had someone cuddly in my life who could reach the damn globe and resume cursing my singlness.
Go with your gut. My gut says you should stay put. If it's meant to be, it will work out in the end.
PS - Thanks for the link!
I do not mean this to be a downer at all, but you have to look out for you, only you can do it best. Boys will come and go, and if this was really truly meant to be he would support you 100% and be there for you and be proud of you. You are just beginning your careers who knows where it will lead you. You have to decide what is best for YOU though.
I do not mean this to be a downer at all, but you have to look out for you, only you can do it best. Boys will come and go, and if this was really truly meant to be he would support you 100% and be there for you and be proud of you. You are just beginning your careers who knows where it will lead you. You have to decide what is best for YOU though.
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