Tuesday, February 19, 2008

For the Record

I am not back together with my boyfriend. He (SAYS he)would like to be, but how can I date someone that I don't trust? At all. I'm torn between doing what I KNOW is right and doing what is easy/comfortable.

The whole situation is so difficult and confusing. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love and respect me. If he DID love and respect me he wouldn't have done what he did. THEREFORE I should kick his tush to the curb and be done with him- - and I have- - but not TOTALLY, you know? We still talk, we still communicate... I saw him last weekend (hence the disapointment from you guys) and he will be in the same place that I'm going on vacation. (We're not going together.) It's just so completely crazy that I can't even get my head around it. He says he made a terrible mistake, he's so sorry, blah, blah blah... I say I deserve better and can do better. He says he KNOWS I'm what he wants and I say, well... I know I don't want what he's done.

I just don't know how to make it better...or feel better. I'm beginning to hate myself for letting him get away with this even though I haven't really, because we've broken up. I don't know, I feel like he doesn't deserve the smallest part of me but, for some ridiculous reason, I feel bad taking it away...

I'm reminded of The Wedding Singer... "Love Stinks". :)

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your so right, it's very hard to let go of something you know and are comfortable with but I have no doubt that you will find someone better and more deserving of your attention than the cheating ex-bf.

6:31 PM  
Blogger Anne-Toireasa said...

I second above comment 100%. Comfort is unbelievably seductive - but not impossibly so. I know it's preposterously trite, but time heals all wounds. And in the event you need to hear this repeated one more time: YOU CAN DO BETTER!!!

Stay strong :).

9:49 AM  
Blogger Paige Jennifer said...

Let's set the record straight - NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is disappointed with you. Him? Yes. You? Never.

Talk it out, work it out and eventually it will all make sense. And in the meantime, know a lot of people can relate and your honesty is comfort for your readers.

10:25 PM  
Blogger Tilda said...

Ugh I know what you mean. The comfort of having a "person", even a crappy one, is really really hard to overcome sometimes. When you are feeling down and he gets in touch with you it is so hard to stay strong. You sort of forget about all of the bad stuff because you just want to feel like you have a person again. But you can do it! We can do it together. It will be okay. And I absolutely am not disappointed in you. Its so hard.

11:07 AM  

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