For the Record

I am not back together with my boyfriend. He (SAYS he)would like to be, but how can I date someone that I don't trust? At all. I'm torn between doing what I KNOW is right and doing what is easy/comfortable.

The whole situation is so difficult and confusing. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love and respect me. If he DID love and respect me he wouldn't have done what he did. THEREFORE I should kick his tush to the curb and be done with him- - and I have- - but not TOTALLY, you know? We still talk, we still communicate... I saw him last weekend (hence the disapointment from you guys) and he will be in the same place that I'm going on vacation. (We're not going together.) It's just so completely crazy that I can't even get my head around it. He says he made a terrible mistake, he's so sorry, blah, blah blah... I say I deserve better and can do better. He says he KNOWS I'm what he wants and I say, well... I know I don't want what he's done.

I just don't know how to make it better...or feel better. I'm beginning to hate myself for letting him get away with this even though I haven't really, because we've broken up. I don't know, I feel like he doesn't deserve the smallest part of me but, for some ridiculous reason, I feel bad taking it away...

I'm reminded of The Wedding Singer... "Love Stinks". :)

Sometimes...

do you feel like you just cannot take one more minute of your day? That's how I've been feeling lately. I haven't gotten enough sleep though so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I have a vacation coming up... I'm leaving Sunday. Hopefully that will clear my mind...

Because They're So True

I know this pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Dont ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

Some day somebodys gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Dont you know? Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Thingsll go your way
Hold on for one more day

You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
You''ot no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin your worries pass you by
Dont you think its worth your time
To change your mind?

I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and
Break free the chains
Yeah I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and you
Break free, break from the chains

Some day somebodys gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Dont you know? Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day yeah
If you hold on

Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day,If you hold on
Can you hold on
Hold on baby
Wont you tell me now
Hold on for one more day cause
Its gonna go your way
Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Cant you change it this time
ake up your mind
Hold on
Hold on
Baby hold on

This Breaks My Heart

I do not understand how this stuff happens...