Homesick...
For the first time since I moved I'm homesick. There, I feel better now that I said it. I've been trying to deny it all day, but I simply can't. I am so stressed out about making a decision about whether to move or not move and what to do and what to say, I think it all just kind of bubbled over today. And I didn't work out today. I know I should give myself a break sometimes but I really loathe the days I don't motivate to do something (they are few and far between, BELIEVE me, but I just hate it).
I still can't decide if I'm going to move or not. It would be a whole lot easier just taking care of a dog (I think) but I'm so used to my schedule now, that I'm just nervous I'm trading one ridiculously crazy situation for another. This new place is 6 miles further away from where I work and I would have to be there EVERYDAY of the week by 3:30 which really just might be kind of tough. I'm not sure. On the other hand, it might be a lot nicer not having to babysit ALL DAY SATURDAY EVERY WEEKEND. Ack. I just wish something would work out that was mutually agreeable to everyone involved. I know that if I'm going to live somewhere rent-free I've got to do... SOMETHING. I get that. I just wish that someone would appreciate all that I have to offer and be really, well, overwhelmed by it. And that something would just. work. out.
One highlight of my night- - I arrived at a house to babysit (a family who attends the school that I teach) and the mom knew that I moved right before school started and the first thing she asked me when I walked in the door was, "Hey, how are you doing? Are you homesick?" And, for the first time, I realized that no one has asked me sincerely how I was doing since I've been here. Yes, there are people who care and I've made some great friends but it's just not the same as feeling like someone GETS where you might be coming from and how you might be feeling.
AND, knowing that I might be homesick, she made home-made chocolate chip cookies for me. How sweet is that? Sometimes, it's the little things and today, I really needed it.
I still can't decide if I'm going to move or not. It would be a whole lot easier just taking care of a dog (I think) but I'm so used to my schedule now, that I'm just nervous I'm trading one ridiculously crazy situation for another. This new place is 6 miles further away from where I work and I would have to be there EVERYDAY of the week by 3:30 which really just might be kind of tough. I'm not sure. On the other hand, it might be a lot nicer not having to babysit ALL DAY SATURDAY EVERY WEEKEND. Ack. I just wish something would work out that was mutually agreeable to everyone involved. I know that if I'm going to live somewhere rent-free I've got to do... SOMETHING. I get that. I just wish that someone would appreciate all that I have to offer and be really, well, overwhelmed by it. And that something would just. work. out.
One highlight of my night- - I arrived at a house to babysit (a family who attends the school that I teach) and the mom knew that I moved right before school started and the first thing she asked me when I walked in the door was, "Hey, how are you doing? Are you homesick?" And, for the first time, I realized that no one has asked me sincerely how I was doing since I've been here. Yes, there are people who care and I've made some great friends but it's just not the same as feeling like someone GETS where you might be coming from and how you might be feeling.
AND, knowing that I might be homesick, she made home-made chocolate chip cookies for me. How sweet is that? Sometimes, it's the little things and today, I really needed it.
Labels: ct
posted by P in VT at 8:13 PM
2 Comments:
Sorry you are feeling homesick. I hope things get better, chocolate chip cookies always help :)
If that woman, the chocolate chip cookie lady, wants to adopt me, I'm available.
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