Dog Days of Summer
I have been *so* busy lately. I do some contractual work/moonlighting in addition to my real job and this week is the big culmination of an event that I have been working on all year. Needless to say, it’s been crazy.
Yesterday was just gorgeous here and my boyfriend had the day off so I took ½ day too (unheard of around here) to spend some quality time with him without rushing from one thing to the next. It was really nice, we sat by the pool, had lunch, got haircuts (okay, we’re losers) did a LITTLE shopping and walked on a trail at the nearby river. All before I taught Jazzercise at 5:45. It was a stress-free day. Until 7pm.
We came home from jazz, showered and ate dinner when a friend of the family (also the person who house sat while we were on vacation) stopped by to say hi with his roommates dog. We don’t have dogs, we have a cat, but we’re always pretty relaxed about people bringing their dogs over, even though (sorry dog lovers) I personally loathe having them in the house. I know, I know, I’m SORRY. You all remember my last experience with a dog anyway.
We’re in the kitchen about to eat and I hear this intense panting from the family room- - at first I panic because I thought my boyfriend was having a heart attack after all of that jazzercise (I’m now realizing how stupid that thought was) so I look down the hallway and it’s our friend with this HUGE dog, tight on the leash. He asks, “Is he okay?” I’m like, “Is WHO okay?” He goes, “the dog? Is he fine?” I’m like, “WHAT?” He’s goes, “can I let him off the leash?” I’m like, um, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO F NO, “oh, sure!”.
The dog comes careening into the kitchen runs around the house, takes a lap around the dining room table then just kind of hangs out. At this point, my boyfriend and I are ready to jump in the pool for a bit so we leave my mom to visit with the friend. My boyfriend is swimming and I’m on the diving board ready to jump in when our friend comes out to visit with the dog, who by the way, is still leash-less.
Well, it took about .0000876 seconds before the dog was in the pool. Did you read that? IN. THE. POOL. IN THE POOL WITH A VERY NICE, THIN LINER. IN THE POOL WITH NO STEPS FOR THE DOG TO GET OUT. IN MY POOL DAMN IT.
Now, let me tell you something about the pool. It’s nice, pretty big, 10 feet deep, 3.5 feet in the shallow end and it doesn’t have any stairs. That’s right, just ladders to get in and out. Not a problem for humans, BIG PROBLEM for unsuspecting dog who is used to just walking out gradually of the lake. He, appropriately, dog paddles for a little bit before he gets nervous and wants to get out. He can’t. So the friend struggles to pull him out enough to he can grab him and then lifts 150lbs of dog out of the pool. Dog shakes off and I throw a tennis ball OUTSIDE of the pool area to occupy him for a bit. Fine. Crisis Averted. Or so I thought.
The friend stays for a while, has a drink, I go inside, boyfriend goes inside, get ready to go out for the night. My mom is walking out to say bye to the friend who is leaving. While they’re visiting the dog is running around again, disappears for a while and then comes back. SOAKING WET. That’s right. The dog ran around the back of the house and jumped in the pool. AGAIN. And he must have managed to get out by himself because, like, he was in the front yard all wet.
My mom and friend panic, run to the back yard and- - (insert sarcasm here) you’re never going to believe this- - there is a HUGE tear in our pool liner and water is GUSHING out. Out of the pool. Like a waterfall in my backyard. A really chlorinated waterfall that I didn’t WANT THERE.
Everyone starts yelling, friend tries to hold the liner together and stop the water while I, lucky me, put my bathing suit BACK on, jump in and perform emergency liner surgery to our pool. If you’ve never performed emergency liner surgery you should try it sometime. It’s really fun. In fact, it’s so fun I still have the adhesive stuck to my stomach and fingers to remind myself how fun it was. And just in case I make a mistake and try to forget, another reminder will come this afternoon when I meet with the pool guy about how to fix the GAPING HOLE in our liner a little more officially that my emergency liner surgery last night.
In a seriously bad mood today. :)
Yesterday was just gorgeous here and my boyfriend had the day off so I took ½ day too (unheard of around here) to spend some quality time with him without rushing from one thing to the next. It was really nice, we sat by the pool, had lunch, got haircuts (okay, we’re losers) did a LITTLE shopping and walked on a trail at the nearby river. All before I taught Jazzercise at 5:45. It was a stress-free day. Until 7pm.
We came home from jazz, showered and ate dinner when a friend of the family (also the person who house sat while we were on vacation) stopped by to say hi with his roommates dog. We don’t have dogs, we have a cat, but we’re always pretty relaxed about people bringing their dogs over, even though (sorry dog lovers) I personally loathe having them in the house. I know, I know, I’m SORRY. You all remember my last experience with a dog anyway.
We’re in the kitchen about to eat and I hear this intense panting from the family room- - at first I panic because I thought my boyfriend was having a heart attack after all of that jazzercise (I’m now realizing how stupid that thought was) so I look down the hallway and it’s our friend with this HUGE dog, tight on the leash. He asks, “Is he okay?” I’m like, “Is WHO okay?” He goes, “the dog? Is he fine?” I’m like, “WHAT?” He’s goes, “can I let him off the leash?” I’m like, um, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO F NO, “oh, sure!”.
The dog comes careening into the kitchen runs around the house, takes a lap around the dining room table then just kind of hangs out. At this point, my boyfriend and I are ready to jump in the pool for a bit so we leave my mom to visit with the friend. My boyfriend is swimming and I’m on the diving board ready to jump in when our friend comes out to visit with the dog, who by the way, is still leash-less.
Well, it took about .0000876 seconds before the dog was in the pool. Did you read that? IN. THE. POOL. IN THE POOL WITH A VERY NICE, THIN LINER. IN THE POOL WITH NO STEPS FOR THE DOG TO GET OUT. IN MY POOL DAMN IT.
Now, let me tell you something about the pool. It’s nice, pretty big, 10 feet deep, 3.5 feet in the shallow end and it doesn’t have any stairs. That’s right, just ladders to get in and out. Not a problem for humans, BIG PROBLEM for unsuspecting dog who is used to just walking out gradually of the lake. He, appropriately, dog paddles for a little bit before he gets nervous and wants to get out. He can’t. So the friend struggles to pull him out enough to he can grab him and then lifts 150lbs of dog out of the pool. Dog shakes off and I throw a tennis ball OUTSIDE of the pool area to occupy him for a bit. Fine. Crisis Averted. Or so I thought.
The friend stays for a while, has a drink, I go inside, boyfriend goes inside, get ready to go out for the night. My mom is walking out to say bye to the friend who is leaving. While they’re visiting the dog is running around again, disappears for a while and then comes back. SOAKING WET. That’s right. The dog ran around the back of the house and jumped in the pool. AGAIN. And he must have managed to get out by himself because, like, he was in the front yard all wet.
My mom and friend panic, run to the back yard and- - (insert sarcasm here) you’re never going to believe this- - there is a HUGE tear in our pool liner and water is GUSHING out. Out of the pool. Like a waterfall in my backyard. A really chlorinated waterfall that I didn’t WANT THERE.
Everyone starts yelling, friend tries to hold the liner together and stop the water while I, lucky me, put my bathing suit BACK on, jump in and perform emergency liner surgery to our pool. If you’ve never performed emergency liner surgery you should try it sometime. It’s really fun. In fact, it’s so fun I still have the adhesive stuck to my stomach and fingers to remind myself how fun it was. And just in case I make a mistake and try to forget, another reminder will come this afternoon when I meet with the pool guy about how to fix the GAPING HOLE in our liner a little more officially that my emergency liner surgery last night.
In a seriously bad mood today. :)
posted by P in VT at 9:40 AM
4 Comments:
Oh no! I'm sorry you keep having such terrible luck with dogs...that's no way to win you over!
I'm so sorry for you but I will admit I was laughing while reading that. I can totally picture the whole scene.
Okay. I'm laughing. At you. I'm so sorry. I just can't help it. The visual of this story (albeit a real life drama) is just too hysterical.
I love dogs but I'd be cursing this one.
Hopefully it'll be fixed soon enough!
I agree with Meg, that's no way to win you over!
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