Monday, May 17, 2010

Officer

So, the new guy from the bar last weekend is a police officer. Did I mention that? Well, Mr. Officer really cannot seem to get enough of me. He's a little over the top. And by a little, I mean a lot.

Here is a sampling of texts I've received from him in the past seven days:

"Yeah I have nothing better to do but text girls! Oh yea, forgot I only wanted to text ONE girl. YOU."

"I got no problem working for it! All I asked for was a shot!"

"Sweet dreams, I am looking forward to a date and glad I got to meet you."

"Have a great day beautiful!"

"Just wanted to say hi, thinking of you!"

"Remember that girl from the bar the other day? She got a tattoo of me cause I am her hero."

"Well, this big deal is off to the grocery store! I am looking forward to taking you out and workin' my game in person."

"Listen Woman! I don't have a lot of time, hockey is on and so are the Yankees so slow your roll down there! I know it's hard to focus, you will see me soon enough."

"Have fun! Don't be afraid to tell me how we will rock!"

"Enjoy, sweet dreams. Wish I was able to see you sooner than later."

"You and me some drinks the smell of the fire and my mix tape. I might get the courage to lean in for a kiss. HA."

"I'm so ready to buy you dinner."

"Baby I have to deal with SO much stuff right now! Don't know how late you are up but want you to know that I am thinking about you and am glad that i met you."

"Morning baby! Hope you get to rock that smile in the sun! "

"Wish I was your pool boy delivering you drinks..."

"I am 209lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal! Come on girl you know you laughed a little!"

I would type all of my responses but I don't have time for that and frankly, I don't respond to each text. I am NOT encouraging these types of texts though, let me assure you.

What can we learn from his texts thus far?

-He called me "woman". Something that, if you really know me, you will NEVER, EVER, EVER do. Nor would you refer to any other woman as "woman."

-He is a Yankees fan. (bleh.)

-He has started calling me "baby". I am, in no way shape or form, "baby". I know some people use it as a term of endearment and the first time someone EVER called me "babe" I was a little flattered, (I was also a junior in high school, so...) but I don't "do" terms of endearment so much. I have a name... use it.

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3 Comments:

Blogger K.S. Anthony said...

Here's what I've learned:

He's stalking you. (Well, actually, if you're interested, then I suppose it's just some form of clumsy courtship. Good God, those texts are boorish.)

He's got a badge and a sidearm: half the power of God.

Please be...cautious.

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

um, he said his weight and referred to himself as steel. he is so over the top it is bizarre. my guess? he is overcompensating for a tiny d***

7:52 PM  
Blogger POSH AND POISED said...

At least he txt you back and doesn't play Bridge when he COULD BE hanging out with an attractive blonde. I think our lesson learned here is to drop that bar like its HOT (even though we clearly know the only reason it's hot is because we go there)!

11:40 PM  

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