I Don't Even Know Where to Start

This is a long one. I warned you.

We got an early start on Thursday afternoon so we made it home in time for a late dinner with the whole family. Before we even got home my mom called to tell us that she and my dad had stopped by the bar we were having my sister’s birthday party at to check in and make sure we were all set so, we decided to meet them for a drink on our way home.

The bartender who was working (also the guy who owns the bar) was the same one who professed his love to me last time I was home, asked me out to dinner, then stood me up. (Oh, I didn’t tell you that story?!?! Oops.) He has since apologized but I still gave him the cold shoulder when I first saw him. I mean, come on.

So we have our drink, head home and wait for everyone else to get there to have dinner. Dinner, was awesome. I decided to quit WW so I ate lasagna, bread, butter and had, I think….6 beers before it was all said and done. I enjoyed EVERY last bite. It was so good. Dinner was also fun because it was the first time we were all together again and there are always so many stories to tell. We laughed so hard.

Sister #2 was turning 22 at midnight and because we ate such a late dinner we headed to the bar down the street (my favorite bar) around 11:30 to have a (couple) drinks in her honor. A bunch of my friends from high school were there so I ended up closing down the bar (go figure) and hung out late-night with one of my friends.

Friday morning I was HUNGOVER but woke up to take my cousin’s three kids strawberry picking. I was feeling better by the afternoon and got my haircut (it’s totally stylish and awesome) and then got ready to head down to the bar for my sister’s birthday. I was still not feeling the best from the night before so I took it totally easy and drank water for the first two hours I was there. Then, I had that first glass of wine. That was the end for me… the rest of the night is kind of a blur and totally fuzzy but here’s what I do remember.

I went home (got a ride) around 10:30pm to have cake for the birthday. I walked in to everyone singing happy birthday to my sister and, I don’t what came over me, but I took my fork and completely DUG IN to the cake. With the candles still burning. In the middle of the song. I guess that was me, waving my middle finger at WW and saying a big “Eff You.” Of course, I wasn’t ready for the night to be over so I decided that I would head over to my friends house, only, I couldn’t drive so I had to settle for getting a ride back down to the bar we were just at. The boys dropped me off on their way downtown and I picked up right where I left off. Dancing with the bartender who blew me off last time I was home. I guess I decided to forgive him. Blame it on the wine.

I noticed this VERY cute boy sitting at the bar so I wandered over and nonchalantly told him that he, “is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and OMIGOD, how do I not know you.” He may have just been indulging me, but he seemed TOTALLY into it. Until his cousin came over. His cousin? Is the bartender. The one who has a crush on me. The one who I went BACK to the bar to hangout with. The one who was coming home with us at the end of the night. Oops.

(This is the part that I DON’T remember so it’s totally based on other’s retelling of the evening.)

We hung out until the bar closed and I, obviously ready to head home, decide that it would be faster to walk than wait for a cab. (Me and my great ideas.) I had had too much to drink to go back to my house so the bartender called my mom and let them know I’d be staying on the couch at their place. It was POURING rain (which explains why my hair was fro’d out Saturday morning) but still, I thought it’d be fun to walk. The guys didn’t think so but they followed me anyway (will they EVER learn?) and we got ½ way to his house before his brother picked us up and drove us the rest of the way.

We walked in and I was greeted by a HUGE dog. (You know how I feel about that.) so I just laid down and immediately passed out.

(This is where I start remembering things again.)

I woke up at 8am and headed to the bathroom- - I found it on the third try and thought that it looked a little… put together to be a guy’s bathroom but I also couldn’t see anything so I just headed back to lay down. I came to again around 8:30 and realized I was still in my party dress from the night before. (Strike one.) I also realized that I had NO idea what town I was in. (Strike TWO.) I found the bartender and told him that I was going to be late for the parade party and I needed to go home right away. He said he’d be right out so I headed back to the living room and when I walked by the kitchen I noticed there was someone sitting in there.

His mother.

I’m not even kidding. (That explains the bathroom.) There I was in the SAME DRESS I had seen her in the night before, at EIGHT THIRTY IN THE MORNING, wandering around her house.

He lives with his mom and (apparently) forgot to mention that to me. (Strike THREE.) He comes out of his room and wakes his cousin up saying, “alright, we’ve got to go” I just figured he wanted company for the ride. At the same time he’s saying this, his mom says, “Oh, you’re not DRIVING, are you?” He doesn’t have a license. (I’m all OUT OF STRIKES.) Can you BELIEVE THIS?!?!??!?!?!?!?!

His cousin (the really hot one) drove me home and then, I had to deal with my family. Reminding me about my antics the night before…

This story/weekend? Gets better.