Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Oh My God, Becky? Look at THAT Butt

I know, the sister stories are getting a little old. Some of you have expressed concern that she might read this blog? I assure you, my sister has ZERO interest in my blog. She doesn't even find me THAT funny in real life (I know, I can't imagine either) she wouldn't waste her time reading my nonfunniness in her free time. Trust me.

Last week my sister borrowed one of my dresses. I don't mind sharing my clothes at all, it looked great on her, which- - quite frankly- - I was shocked about because, let's remember. She's a 00 and barely breaks 100 SOAKING WET.

We always choose our outfits the night before. It really suits our TOTAL TYPE A personalities well and saves time in the morning. So... last night she comes prancing out of the bedroom in another one of my dresses. I didn't KNOW she was in there trying my clothes on, but being the sweet, patient, EASYGOING, older sister that I am, I say,

"Wow! M! That looks great!"

And she turned to the left.

Turned to the right.

Smoothed the skirt.

Checked her babelicious self out in the full-length.

I continued, "and it's supposed to be warm tomorrow! So that's perfect!"

She turned towards me.

Crinkled her nose. And says, "Oh, GOD. I would NEVER wear this to school! I mean... look at it! It's so... BIG!"

She takes her little witch fingers and pulls at the cotton top, "I mean, it's like... so SAGGY. I could NEVER wear this to school. It's too LOOSE. I mean..." she turns sideways and fluffs up the "loose" fabric, "it's just. TOO BIG. Don't you THINK!??! It's TOO BIG for school?!? I could NEVER wear this to school! Look at it! I mean, it's just kind of HANGS off of me. I was thinking that I could wear it Friday. To the casino."

I really was at a loss for words, so I simply said, "Oh, M! Of course! That will be perfect for the casino..." I hear they LIKE. BIG. BAGGY. SAGGY. Dresses there!

Her response? "Yea... maybe. Or I could just wear jeans and a t-shirt. That's really, my thing anyway."

Oh... jeans a t-shirt? Of course. Because WHY ELSE WOULD YOU TRY ON MY DRESS THAT'S QUITE OBVIOUSLY TOOOOOOO BIG FOR YOU!?!?!??! SO YOU COULD WEAR JEANS AND A T SHIRT!?!??!?!

Apparently.

A word for the wise to any skinny girls out there reading this. When your friends/sisters/coworkers graciously share their clothes with you. Don't make any comments about how ill they fit.

k?thanksbye.

smooches,
The FatAss Older Sister

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7 Comments:

Blogger Paige Jennifer said...

Oh I would have strangled her, with the SAGGY dress, natch.

2:04 PM  
Blogger Titanium said...

I second that motion.

As the oldest of four girls... and the widest... and tallest...

I feel your pain.

I bench-press them when they get mouthy, though... so there is that.

6:57 PM  
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