Lonely
Since moving to CT I haven't been overly lonely at all. I was so busy at my last house that I hardly had time to be lonely and I've been away the first two weekends at the new house, so again, no loneliness. This week was the first week that I have really been at the new house full time though, and? Guess what? I'm feeling a little lonely.
I'm enjoying not being in a serious relationship and I have a ton of friends but I was on the phone with a friend last night I was just saying that, while I love the freedom that I have, I would really like to come to someone at the end of the day. Or be at home waiting for someone to come home. Or even just meeting someone out at the end of the day. Just someone to share my thoughts with, relax and hang out with. Not just anybody though, someone who wanted all of those things too. Someone who wanted ME to be there at the end of the day. Someone who wanted to look forward to coming to home to ME.
It seems silly, I know. I'm still young, I have plenty to do, I just feel as though there is a small void in my life that I really want filled. While I was home last weekend I spent time with a couple who I just met for the first time and they really loved each other. It was sweet and endearing and it made me want exactly what they had.
I've done high school relationships, I've done college relationships, I've done inappropriate relationships and I've done long distance. What I've never had is something easy. Something that didn't require a lot of effort. Don't get me wrong, I know relationships are hard work, I know they're not always easy but I'm hoping that sometime I will find something that... well? That just works. It works for me, it works for them, and together? We work perfectly.
I think I know exactly what I want...
I'm just scared that it's not going to work out.
I'm enjoying not being in a serious relationship and I have a ton of friends but I was on the phone with a friend last night I was just saying that, while I love the freedom that I have, I would really like to come to someone at the end of the day. Or be at home waiting for someone to come home. Or even just meeting someone out at the end of the day. Just someone to share my thoughts with, relax and hang out with. Not just anybody though, someone who wanted all of those things too. Someone who wanted ME to be there at the end of the day. Someone who wanted to look forward to coming to home to ME.
It seems silly, I know. I'm still young, I have plenty to do, I just feel as though there is a small void in my life that I really want filled. While I was home last weekend I spent time with a couple who I just met for the first time and they really loved each other. It was sweet and endearing and it made me want exactly what they had.
I've done high school relationships, I've done college relationships, I've done inappropriate relationships and I've done long distance. What I've never had is something easy. Something that didn't require a lot of effort. Don't get me wrong, I know relationships are hard work, I know they're not always easy but I'm hoping that sometime I will find something that... well? That just works. It works for me, it works for them, and together? We work perfectly.
I think I know exactly what I want...
I'm just scared that it's not going to work out.
Labels: dating, relationships
posted by P in VT at 10:30 AM
2 Comments:
does that mean you've got your eye set on someone? i don't think "easy" is asking too much. i think we just go about it the wrong way sometimes. we meet strangers and try to turn them into the perfect relationship that we've been looking for all our lives. and then we've got friends that we click with perfectly, but refuse to do anything romantic with. by the time we've reached that "friend" stage, one or the other no longer can imagine having those feelings.
having said that though, i think if there's not some degree of "easy", it's probably not right.
Ditto.
xoxo
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