Catholic Guilt

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday.

I only know this because I teach Jazzercise two times per week in the basement of a church.

I was born and raised Catholic and went to church regularly growing up.

I am ashamed to admit that I did not know it was Ash Wednesday.

There has been a big push around southwestern CT to get more Catholics to repent this season which I think has catholicism on my brain. I don't go to church regularly anymore but have thought a lot about it lately. (That doesn't count, I know.) I was feeling like I needed to refocus my religion and maybe start going to church again. I have NO idea why I've been feeling this way, but since last fall, I've been thinking about it. Maybe it's feeling like I'm lacking something greater in my life, or maybe it's all of this wedding talk and me wondering if getting married in a church is important to me or not...

Cut to two nights ago. I couldn't fall asleep because I had SEVERELY burnt my toast and my whole apartment REEKED. Seriously, it smelled so bad it was interfering with my sleep schedule. I tossed. I turned. I read. I checked my email. I lied there. I envisioned. I breathed. I counted sheep. Then? I decided that I would start reciting my prayers. I started with the Lord's Prayer...

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come, thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven...

oh shit...

on earth as it is in heaven...

give us our daily bread
forgive us for trespassing...

No, No...

Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heave. Give us this day our daily bread and pray for sinners now and at the hour of our death. Am- - DAMN IT!

Am I confusing this with the Hail Mary?

Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord is with thee, blessed are thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus, Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at.. DAMN IT! I DID! I DID! I'm creating a mix of the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary! JEEEEZ!

I must have finally fallen asleep but...

are you ready for this?

I had to GOOGLE the Lord's Prayer yesterday morning JUST TO REMEMBER IT.

I am happy to report that I can (now) recite the Lord's Prayer with no great mis-haps.

There will be at least ONE MORE catholic repenting this season. I'm going to have to go to confession and 'fess up that I...FORGOT. THE. LORD'S. PRAYER.