Thursday, January 24, 2008

Thank You

For your sweet comments yesterday. They seriously help. To add to the old-relationship drama I continue (after numerous attempts to say, "Hey- - don't call/text/email/expect to communicate with me like we did before") I receive text messages/emails/phone calls as much (if not MORE) than I used to...

and as much as I HATE what happened and I TRY TO IGNORE THEM and I SO DON'T FORGIVE him, I'm embarrassed to admit that they made me feel... a little bit good.

What is WRONG with me? I wish I could be one of those girls who gets pissed and WALKS AWAY. Are you one of them? Because I totally envy you. I've never been able to do that. I always hear people out, give them the benefit of the doubt and continue to support them in whatever way they need. It's unbelievable really.

And I totally see this for what it is... a selfish ploy to continue to have the best of both worlds. I. Get. It. but I struggle to do anything about it. Yes, I act differently and I'm a little bit cooler towards him and I don't ever initiate contact but it's HARD.

(I promise, I'll try not to let this turn into a "How to Break-up Unsuccessfully" blog but this won't get out of my mind, darn it.)



Blogger Paige Jennifer said...

Right, that whole walking away with a double snap and no last look over your shoulder? That shit ONLY happens in television and film.

As bad as some things wound down, there was lots of good. You're conditioned by the good. The past dictates a feeling that feels all wrong in the present.

I hate when people say this but it is SO true - time. The more time that spans between then and now, the easier it gets.

10:42 AM  

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