What I Forgot
Growing up in a house with four girls is something that I love (like you didn’t know by now) and something that I’m proud of. It has also made me *very* familiar with the tendencies of girls and friends and relationships and social circles. When I was in high school after a particularly harrowing school trip (think EVERYONE on the trip was suspended except for me and one other girl) I would get random IM’s from the screen name FAT(insert my name)SHOOT2KILL and was basically exiled from any social event. Awful, right? Well, I survived, but with four girls experiences like these are almost common at my house. Really. We’ve seen it all. Drive-by paintball shootings, random egging of the cars, toilet papering the cars, prank phone calls…and all of this is done by GIRLS.
Recently there has been an influx of events aimed at one sister in particular which included crisco-ing my Dad’s ENTIRE (she usually drives it) car and writing SL*T in big letters on the side. Let me assure you that the four of us are not perfect, nor are we even CLOSE to perfect but (and I am biased here) my younger sisters are not out partying or socializing with enough people that would warrant this type of thing. It’s a little unbelievable. So Friday night while I was karaoke-ing at the non-karaoke bar and giving my number to old men someone called our house at 1:45am (no one answered) and left a message. It went something like this:
(In your best singsong voice)
“You aaarrree a mother-f*ckin’ hoooeeeeee.
You aaaarreee a mother-f*fuckin’ hooooeee.
A*** is a hoe.*
K**** is a hoe.*
M**** is a hoe.*
M** is a hoe.*
You are all hoooooeeeeees.
And you f*ck everyboooddddyyyy.
You are sl*tty hooeeessss.
Mother f*ckin hooeeesssss.”
*****she called out EACH of our names individually to solidify the idea that NONE of us were exempt from HOE-dom.
Crazy right? I think this is stemming from some guy (doesn’t it always?) and an event that happened about 2 years ago, but really- - isn’t that awful? We were listening to it on speaker phone in our kitchen and talking about how rude it was when my mom goes,
“Yea! And they called your MOTHER a HOE!”
Umm… no mom, they called us “Mother-f*ckin HOES.
I can’t blame her really, who would want to be left out of that?
Recently there has been an influx of events aimed at one sister in particular which included crisco-ing my Dad’s ENTIRE (she usually drives it) car and writing SL*T in big letters on the side. Let me assure you that the four of us are not perfect, nor are we even CLOSE to perfect but (and I am biased here) my younger sisters are not out partying or socializing with enough people that would warrant this type of thing. It’s a little unbelievable. So Friday night while I was karaoke-ing at the non-karaoke bar and giving my number to old men someone called our house at 1:45am (no one answered) and left a message. It went something like this:
(In your best singsong voice)
“You aaarrree a mother-f*ckin’ hoooeeeeee.
You aaaarreee a mother-f*fuckin’ hooooeee.
A*** is a hoe.*
K**** is a hoe.*
M**** is a hoe.*
M** is a hoe.*
You are all hoooooeeeeees.
And you f*ck everyboooddddyyyy.
You are sl*tty hooeeessss.
Mother f*ckin hooeeesssss.”
*****she called out EACH of our names individually to solidify the idea that NONE of us were exempt from HOE-dom.
Crazy right? I think this is stemming from some guy (doesn’t it always?) and an event that happened about 2 years ago, but really- - isn’t that awful? We were listening to it on speaker phone in our kitchen and talking about how rude it was when my mom goes,
“Yea! And they called your MOTHER a HOE!”
Umm… no mom, they called us “Mother-f*ckin HOES.
I can’t blame her really, who would want to be left out of that?
Labels: daily life, girls
posted by P in VT at 2:15 PM
4 comments
