In Comparison

I've discussed my many (many, many) (boy)friends here and, just so you can see how different they really are I'm going to share two of my recent interactions with them.


Boy 1)
It's hunting season in VT and many of my friends are obsessed with hunting, more obsessed than I am with working out and eating dessert. It's intense. Many of their mornings/weekends/free time are spent in duck blinds or in boats or up in trees. I was recently on the phone with RC and he was talking about just how much he loves hunting and he said, "Seriously M, I might be broke, drive a crappy truck and live in a hellhole, but as long as I can hunt, I don't care about anything of those things. Really. I could live in a shed and be happy for the rest of my life as long as I can hunt. Well, of course, I'd like to share my shed with you too, if you're interested."

Just the proposal I've been hoping for.

Boy 2)
I opened my mailbox yesterday expected NOTHING because, unfortunately, my birthday celebrations are OVER but I saw a card addressed to me. It looked like my ex-boyfriend's writing but upon closer inspection I saw that the return address was none other than the thoughtful Jax.

I opened the envelope and pulled out a card that read, "I've only thought about you twice today" and on the inside continued, "All day and all night." Jax had written, "You said you never get anything fun mail so I thought this would be a fun surprise and, it's pretty accurate too. Hope to see you soon. xo, Jax."

The Party's OOOOVER

I used to hate when my mom would sing that to me after birthdays or vacations but, sadly, the party(ies) really is over. It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks and they have been totally awesome.

Saturday morning my mom treated myself, my sister, and D to mani/pedis at our favorite spot. I've never been one for "girl time" or "girls days" but I think I may be changing my mind. Hanging out with your mom, sister and best friend? Rules.

The woman I used to live with (over the summer) and I share a birthday so Saturday evening my mother, D and I headed over there for happy hour. It was...alright. She had a few of her friends and family there and they are all very high society. I think my mother was beside herself. They can be very unwelcoming and judgmental. We lasted about 45 minutes and got the HELL out of there.

Coming to visit in Connecticut can be overwhelming for my mom. It really is completely different than where we live in Vermont and there is just a much different approach to EVERYTHING down here. She's a really great sport but sometimes the way things go here just DO NOT MESH with her.

For example: It was POURING rain Saturday evening so we decided to pay to park in a lot next to the bar we were going to in SoNo. We pulled up to attendant booth and he asked how long we were staying. He said to just leave the car.

As in- - leave the car so he can park it.

My mother has a new vehicle and did NOT like that idea at all. She hesitated for about TWO MINUTES and then, as the attendant was parking the car, walked toward the car and WATCHED EVERY MOVE. With narration for the sake of D and I.

It went something like this:

"Oh you guys. Are you WATCHING THIS? Oh my god. What's he doing? That's not going to fit there! No wonder HE wanted to drive it. OHMYGOD. IS HE BACKING IN?!?!??! Jeez. I can't believe it. I feel ridiculous watching him, but I swear to GOD IF THERE IS ONE SCRATCH ON IT WHEN WE GET IT BACK... I'm calling THE POLICE."

I felt really badly because I know how stressful it is having a new car and how you worry about it, but at the same time... I did suggest we just take my car so we don't need to worry about anything. :)

The three of us went to dinner and had the BEST time. We ordered appetizers, got drinks (got some wine in my mom) and just visited for a couple of hours. It was everything a birthday celebration should be.

I am so lucky.

It's Almost Here

Seriously you guys, this week just keeps getting better. My mom arrived last night with tons of baked good for me to bring to the kids at school (my annual birthday favorite- - pumpkin muffins and HER famous chocolate chip cookies), I got the sweetest birthday gift in the mail from Jax (didn't he already get my flowers? YES! Did he still send something for my birthday?!?!? YES!!!!!), and today because my mom is here, the teacher that I work with said I should just head out during our specials and spend time with her.

I am surrounded by awesome people- - it's really incredible. (Although, my sister did find a spider while she was laying in bed this morning and did yell for me to come "Get it" but.. I WON'T GO THERE TODAY. POSITIVITY PEOPLE.)

The weekend line-up is totally awesome and I can't wait to get it started.

Woop! Woop!

Aaaand the Celebration Continues

With Tuesday afternoon card and gift in the mail and evening Crumbs cupcakes (Caramel Apple and Peanut Butter Cup. YES PLEASE!), and a Patagonia gift card to get a new jacket that I've been eye-ing from my sisters. (!!!!!!!!!)

THEN my mom called and said that she was thinking about taking a ride down for the weekend! SO... my mom arrives TODAY for a weekend of birthday celebration! I have to (lamely) babysit Friday night, but other than that it's a no-holds-barred kind of weekend! We're going to head to Jazzercise Saturday morning with D, then meet up with my sister and get mani-pedis, we've got happy hour(s) and dinners planned...SHOPPING!

AND, I've got the treats all baked and ready to go for my classes.

This birthday? Totally rocks.

The Longest Celebration

In five days I will turn 25 years old. I always thought by 25 I would be, in a word, settled. I’m not even close to that, but we won’t dwell on that right now. There are more exciting things to discuss like… how I’ve been celebrating my birthday for over a week now and it just keeps getting better!

It started with the flowers from Jax. Then I went to my aunt and uncles’ for happy hour and my aunt (who always goes WAY above and beyond) got me a new jacket (SO CUTE), wine chiller, wine glass identifiers, and a portable wine opener. THEN, before I headed back to Connecticut my parents gave me presents from them because I wouldn’t see them on my actual birthday. I got a new Crock Pot and recipe book, (you should SEE what I’ve been cooking while I’m at work!) mascara, new sheets, a pair of dress pants for work, 6 bottles of wine, AND THE BEST PART?!?!? My mom took me to Costco and Shaw’s and BOUGHT MY GROCERIES. Seriously, she hooked me (and my sister who lives with me) UP. It was awesome.

I never thought I’d be so excited for groceries. At 25? I guess it’s the little things.

I came back to CT and had a quiet week with plans on having a Karaoke Party with D Friday night. Just the two of us. Really. I was actually looking forward to it and had my dad ship us my karaoke mics from home. Call me crazy.

Fridays are tough for me usually though. I’m always exhausted from the week and it takes a while to get motivated. I wanted to head over to D’s house in sweats but I knew that we would probably end up going out for at least one drink so I got (half-assed) dressed. I got to D’s house, knocked on the door, and stumbled in with my mics and box of liquor (long story). As soon as I walked into the dining room, the lights came on and there were horns blowing and everyone yelled “SURPRISE!”

I’m not even kidding. My sister and D threw me a surprise party. The best part was? I was COMPLETELY surprised. I HAD NO IDEA they had been planning this for weeks. My other sister came down from NH with her boyfriend, my friend S came up from the city, my co-workers were there… It was the best night EVER. I TOTALLY felt like the star of the show. It’s so nice to feel like you have friends thinking about you and planning things for you without you even knowing. I really do have the best family and friends.

My official birthday is this Saturday and I’ve had so many celebrations thus far I’m not exactly sure WHAT the plans will be but I think that the day will start with a Jazzercise class (or two) with D and heading to get our nails done.

I'm not even 25 yet and I already love it.

Last Friday

I walked into the bar like I owned the place and was abruptly stopped by the bouncer. He wanted to see my ID. Apparently HE does not know who I am. I dug my id out of my purse, flipped it up to him, and walked over to the corner of the bar.
He had a Mic Ultra waiting. Of course he did.

We visited together, with his friends, and with the bartender. Jax went out to have a cigarette (yea, I know- - don’t say it) so there was an empty bar stool next to me and between me and Jax’s friends. A twenty-something guy approached me and asked if I wanted to play pool. I politely declined saying that I was terrible. And, let’s be honest- - I only play games that I know I’ll win. Trevor (that’s his name) sat down and introduced himself. We started visiting, he asked the basics, I asked the basics… he offered to buy me a drink but Jax had just refreshed me. I pointed to the bottle and pointed to Jax. He gave me a knowing look, but he still wasn’t deterred. Jax couldn’t have cared less about the intrusion. I really admire that. He was content to sit, visit with his friends, and let me visit with my newfound friend. His friends however, acted as though I had gotten in over my head and couldn’t float, let alone pull myself out of the pool.

They interrupted, “Hey! M! I talked to your MOM last night! I told her about OUR PLANS for SUNDAY.”

“Okay,” I responded, “thanks….”

Whenever they would get up to go to the bathroom they would walk by, put their arms around me, kiss my cheek, check in… they were totally establishing themselves as “around” and as annoying as it was, I kind of appreciate that too. As much drama as I may cause at the bar and as much as I sometimes don’t know WHAT I’m doing when I’m home and with all of these guys, I am usually surrounded by people who’ve got my back, who watch out for me, and who genuinely care. It’s one of the reasons I love Vermont.

The funny thing was, Trevor was totally not my type at all. He was a real Vermonter. With a flannel shirt, Birkenstocks, and a full beard. (Hey- - it’s hunting season, almost everyone does.) But I really enjoyed my conversation with him. He was intelligent, intellectual and funny. And? He was totally into me, which, I obviously loved. He told me that I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. (However, in this town? In this bar? In VERMONT. My competition is not exactly stiff.) Genuine flattery? Will pretty much get you everywhere with me.

After we finished our drinks, Trevor went back to hang out with his friends and I turned to face Jax and his friends. It was almost last call and I was ready to head out anyway so Jax offered to walk me to my car. I was exhausted from the 6 hour drive home and very ready for bed but when Jax asked me to stop by his house on the way home for a drink, I couldn’t say no. I don’t know why- - if I wanted to spend more time with him, if I was feeling guilty about Trevor or if I just wasn’t quite ready for the night to end, but I said yes.

We walked up the wooden steps and into his kitchen. He told me to make myself at home in the living room while he poured our glasses of wine. I heard his footsteps coming down the hallway and swung my feet to the floor so there was room on the couch for him. I glanced up at him through the doorway and was surprised to see that he wasn’t carrying wine glasses. Instead? I saw this:



He isn’t going to see me on my birthday and wanted to make sure to celebrate when he saw me. This could be one of the sweetest things someone I WASN’T officially dating has done for me.

AHHHHHHH

My computer has been acting strange lately and, today when I turned it to, I noticed that ALL OF MY INTERNET HISTORY IS GONE. AND?!?!?!?! ALL OF MY BOOKMARKS ARE GONE!

This is NOT good news.

So... I plead with you. If you read this- - and you're not a follower, please leave the link to your blog and I can start rebuilding my favorites.

Thanks!

I am heading home this weekend for what is sure to be a jam-packed couple of days. My favorite bar has been closed for a month (nasty law suit pending) and tonight? It’s opening back up. I’m obviously meeting friends there for a few drinks. Of course, two of The Boys will be there as well. One? I have plans to go hiking with tomorrow and really, is very definitely in the friend zone. The other? Wouldn’t return any of my phone calls all week because, and I quote, “It seems like you want to be my girlfriend and I don’t want a girlfriend. I don’t want to deal with any of that stuff right now.”

?????????????

I want to be his GIRLFRIEND?!?!?!?!??! PUHLEEEEZE! He’s obviously living in a dream world. Just to clarify, I don’t want to be his girlfriend. I think he’s just forgetting that we, before he decided to like me, were ACTUALLY friends. Friends call each other sometime. Friends care about each other. So… seeing him tonight will be interesting. I’m not exactly sure how it will go over but chances are I’ll have a Mic Ultra or vanilla vodka and diet coke in hand so I don’t really care.

And Jax. Oh Jax. He couldn’t be any sweeter, and nicer, really, any more perfect except for the fact that he’s just… a little boring. He doesn’t bring much to the table in terms of conversation, which is so difficult for a chatterbox like myself. I mean, it’s not as though I’m lacking conversation topics it’s just that he doesn’t really bring up any of his own. Other than that though- - he’s fantastic. Really. He’s kind of everything I would want in a boyfriend minus that one (and maybe two other) pieces. We’ll see how this one plays out, but for right now- - I’m playing it pretty cool.

Happy Fall!

Letting Go: a Lesson in Forgiving and Forgetting

I had a bit of a trying weekend and, a much younger me, probably would still be reeling from it today. I'd be dwelling on the details, replaying it in my mind, and holding a grudge. I'd be bitter and looking for or hoping for revenge. I'd want apologies. Many apologies.

However?

I'm not my younger me.

I've grown up, I've gained perspective and I've learned forgiveness in the true sense of the word.

People make mistakes.

They have bad nights.

They say things they don't mean.

Did it hurt at the time? More than I'll probably ever be able to articulate. Still, I'm glad I've learned to forgive and forget and to move forward. I'm better off for it. I may not always make the right decision, and I still feel like a kid on occassion, but sometimes, growing up is so worth it.

It's All in the Approach

Happy October! October is, absolutely, my favorite month out of the entire year. (Although, August is becoming a close second.) Everyone says it’s because it’s my birthday month (woop woop!) which, it may be, but there’s something about October that just seems… so special. It finally starts to feel like fall, daylight savings time, the leaves change, apple picking, pumpkin patches, socks, quilted jackets…I could go on and on. I love everything about it.

My birthday is at the end of the month and? I will be turning twenty-five years old. I’m trying not to dwell on the fact that I’m now as old as well, when I was 10 I thought that by age 22 you. Are. OLD. And INDEPENDENT. And a REAL LIVE ADULT. And… well? I still kind of feel like a kid. What’s up with that? Do you ever stop feeling like a kid?

I was talking on the phone with my mom this morning and we were discussing possible plans for my birthday celebration. I said something to the effect of, “Oh, gosh. It doesn’t matter. We don’t need to make a big deal.” And my mom says, “Well, it’s kind of a big one. 25?!? God, I was married by the time I was 25.”

…

Yes. Thanks for reminding me. Believe me, I would like nothing more than to be married right now. I love my social life and I’ve had more fun in the past year than I had in all four years of college, but really? I would love to be moving towards that next step in my life.

Real story? I don’t even have a boyfriend.

I know that I’m still young and have plenty of time to find someone but sometimes I wonder if I just need to rethink what I want…

Dr. Phil DID say today- - you can open your mind to new ideas without lowering your standards.

Maybe I’ll try that.