Bachelorette Parties

As you know, I am in a wedding this summer. Of course, I will be attending the bride's bachelorette party hosted by her two sisters. Instead of doing one, wild night on the town we've rented a house on the cape for a weekend and will spend the weekend together celebrating.

This to me, sounds like a dream bachelorette party. There will be no strippers, we're all staying together and we can hit the beach during the day. We can stock the fridge and coolers too so it's reasonably economical. (Remember, the bride has ELEVEN. Count 'em: ELEVEN. bridesmaids so splitting ANYTHING eleven ways is... fairly reasonable.)

Here's the thing that I don't understand. Everyone's penchant for having male-genitalia themed EVERYTHING. We've been planning the weekend and the emails going around included supplies we would need for the party. Food, drinks, bedding, etc. Then people starting replying about items we would need to pick up at the "dirty" store.

Excuse me?

The "dirty" store?

I don't know about all of you, but I? Don't go there. Nor do I want to be at a party with items from there.

Let me assure you, I am no prude and I'm, for the most part, outgoing and liberal. I don't even mind certain items. But having p3nis (sorry, don't want spammers) shaped glasses, straws, hats, necklaces, plates and cakes REALLY does not appeal to me.

I don't get it.

It's not like everyone there hasn't seen one before. It's not as if the soon-to-be bride and groom haven't been living together for two years and she'll be preparing and anxiously awaiting a BIG night.

I really, just, DO NOT GET IT.

I don't think it's funny, and I just don't see the point.

Am I the crazy one here? What's the appeal?

Wedding Etiquette

No...I'm not getting married. HA. I can barely keep a boyfriend and have so many non-husband- material boys in my tangled, tangled web there's not room for anyone else. BUT I am invited to two weddings this summer so, weddings are on the brain.

I know that everyone makes choices that are best for THEM on their wedding day and that is the way it should be. Believe me, when I do (finally) tie the knot I'm probably NOT going to take ol' Aunt Ida's personal preference into consideration. I get it- - your day, your decisions. Take it or leave it.

HOWEVER (you knew this was coming, right?!?!) , I just can't seem to shake this wedding issue that has presented itself recently and I wanted to get your opinion.

One of my best guy friends (P) is getting married this summer. Our other best friend is my friend S who I talk about here all the time (of Turkey Bowl fame). P & S have been best friends since kindergarten, I didn't come onto the scene until junior year of high school but since that day all three of us have been best friends. P and I were closer in college, but S and I are closest now and I would say that I am closer to each one of them than they are to each other.

When P started planning his wedding he asked S to be his best man. (via text message. I wish I was kidding.) I, honestly (crazily, I KNOW. I'm a freak.) kind of thought that I should be in the wedding too. I get it- - I'm not really friends with the bride, but I'm the BEST FRIEND. Sorry I'm a girl.

It's not going to work out. FINE.

Anyway. S and I were home for the weekend so we went to P and finance's for happy hour. As we were leaving P says to me, "Oh! Just so you know all 6 of you (my family) are invited to the wedding! But, numbers are a little tight so none of you got a +1." I didn't even have time to think about this and S says, "Oh! Did I get a +1??) and P responds, "Obviously. You're in the wedding party."

Uhhhhhhh.

I don't know how to feel about this. I'd be fine if S didn't get a +1 either, then we would just be together the whole night and I love my parents and sisters so we'll have fun together regardless, but...I'm a little miffed by the whole thing. One of my sisters LIVES with her boyfriend and has for over a year. I understand that I'm the "real" friend so if he didn't want my family to get the +1's that's fine, but shouldn't I still get one? I'm 25 years old, live in my own apartment and LAST HE KNEW... I had had a boyfriend.

Am I crazy here?!?!?! I told S the only reasonable solution is to bring ME as his +1 and then I'll get to go to the rehearsal dinner and sit at the head table anyway. Seems great to me. (And I'm a GREAT date). I called his sister to get her advice and she agreed with me too. She said, as the best man, it's his responsibility to fix it. ;)

What do YOU think?!!??!?!?!

Measuring Up

My cousin is getting married in July and I am one of her (11) bridesmaids. She sent us a link to the dress (LOVE IT!) ((Really.)) a couple of weeks ago with the instructions that we had to get measured locally and call our measurements into her bridal shop with our payment information.

I had a few hours yesterday afternoon and I remembered that I still had to go get measured. I called a local bridal shop and stopped by on my way to babysit. To order the dress we only needed our bust and hips measured so I told the woman that and away she went measuring.

After she finished measuring she says, "Okay! All set! I go check in 'da back for dat designer's size chart and let you know which size you are."

Great.

While I've never been measured at a bridal shop, with all of the working out I do I HAVE been measured multiple times for various exercise activities. I (thought I) knew roughly where I'd fall measurement and size wise.

After about 10 minutes she came back and hands me a piece of paper, "okay! These are your measurments!"

I looked down at the paper

bust- 37 1/2
hips- 41 1/2

size 12-14

WHAT?!?!?!??!?!?!!??!?!

THIRTY SEVEN AND A HALF INCH BUST?!?!??! REALLY?!?!??!??! I HAVE NEVER had a 37 1/2" BUST! EVER! Either my boobs have grown IMMENSELY or something is amiss.

AND... 41 1/2" hips? Well, I can't really say anything about that.

My theme song IS Baby Got Back.

But a size 12-14. I am in NO WAY petite or small-boned or any of those other "tiny girl" nicknames but honestly, I'm USUALLY a size 6 or 8 in dresses. I cannot believe I'll be a 12-14 for the bridesmaid dress.

I called Jax as soon as I got in the car and started the conversation by saying, "omigod! So I just got measured for my bridesmaid dress" and he interrupts, "and, let me guess. You're smaller than you were before because of all of the working out you're doing."

"Uhhhhh, NO!!!!!!!!!!!"

I was going to try to give up dessert for Lent and then decided to give up shopping but it looks like I'll be giving up shopping AND dessert. I cannot believe this.